In the Netflix special “Jigsaw,” Daniel Sloss put forward an analogy that every person’s life is a puzzle made up of pieces that represent your family, friends, hobbies, jobs, partners, and we’re constantly trying to find these pieces that are constantly evolving. He talked about how there is so much societal pressure to be in a relationship, to find your partner piece and that many times people choose the wrong person and try to force them into their puzzle even when the piece is wrong.
I, to some extent, agree with this analogy. However, after spending the last three years being in mostly committed relationships I have realized that even if the partner piece does fit the puzzle that is your life, even if you find the perfect person, they reciprocate, you fall in love, and you’re happy with that relationship, it doesn’t mean it should stay there forever.
During a relationship, people have this veil of love and attachment to a certain person that many times leads them to believe they do not want to meet any new people, that this is their person for the rest of their lives. I have so many friends who at 18 or 19 years old genuinely believe that someday they will marry their partners. And I used to believe that too.
After the end of my two-year relationship last year, I believed that I would never meet another puzzle piece. At least not one that would fit my puzzle as well as my previous puzzle piece. But after a few months, I met someone new and it felt amazing. It was so exciting to have someone new to discover everything about. Someone who likes different things. Who didn’t have the things I disliked about my last partner. A new set of embarrassing confessions revealed while spending the night talking. A new set of skills and weaknesses.
And even though that piece didn’t fit my puzzle, it was awesome to get to know them. This made me realize that even though someday I do want to find my perfectly fitting partner piece, I hope that doesn’t happen for a bit. I’d much rather explore different pieces that don’t quite fit and get to have all of these different experiences than having to stick to the same piece, regardless of how perfect it might have been. I’m simply not ready to have a piece locked in my puzzle forever and I never would have known that had life not gotten in the way of my last relationship.
