Dear St. Olaf Football Team,
It’s no argument, the football team has never been a D1 league, but lately, you’ve started to grow on me. It’s not because you’ve all started showering on a daily basis — although it’s never too late to start — or because your taste in music has suddenly improved. I’ll be the first to admit that it may have a little to do with finally bringing home the Goat. But what really impressed me were your multiple spectacular performances during our homecoming game, but you all know the performance I’m talking about — the sideline Cha Cha Slide. Your performance by far surpassed the St. Olaf Dance Team. Honestly, some of you may want to consider hanging up the cleats and pads, to swap them out for a set of pom poms — between the pom poms and your current 6-count winning streak, we may not even recognize you by the end of the year! All jokes aside, you guys are really doing some great things this year. I can’t wait to see how this season unfolds. Consider me your newest, biggest fan. I can’t wait to see some more spectacular dance numbers and soak up more of your positive, energetic vibes. Consider your former president impressed! Um yah yah!
