Hello Cross Country teams,
Your table in Stav that you all sit at for dinner is corny as hell. Whenever I see all of your indistinguishable blonde heads lined up at that table, it fills my heart with dread because it really feels like I’m back in high school. Sometimes you take up like four tables. There’s no way that conversations even work with that many people at one table. Also, the audacity to just sit around people if they’re already sitting there? Who do you think you are?
This behavior needs to end. I know you’re all madly in love with one another, but I promise you an hour away from your teammate won’t kill you. As a fellow Ole, I’m willing to admit that you’re a pretty good team. Keep up the good work. But you are not all that. Not only do we pay the same tuition and eat the same food, this is a D3 school. That table is not reserved for you. Pack it up. Knock it off. Get off your high horse. And — do not throw up chocolate milk again. Stand up.
Sincerely,
Someone who hates running
