I am who I am because of everything I love, and there’s no doubt in my mind about that. Love has saved me, and will only continue to do so. However, love is not the straightforward thing that the media often makes it out to be. Love is romance, yes, but love is also camaraderie, care, compassion. Sometimes, love feels to me like a catch-all term for countless kinds of connection. I hold the opinion that you can love a friend just as much as a romantic partner, albeit in a different way.
Why has this been on my mind so much lately, though? Well, a few months back, I started talking to someone romantically for the first time since the traumatic experience that was my high school relationship. One might call whatever I found myself in earlier this spring a “talking stage” or even a “situationship,” but I hate both of those terms — they’re much too relationship-oriented for something that could likely fall through in a matter of weeks.
Furthermore, I hate what I was putting myself through just because I was so desperate to feel romantic love, when in reality, I just needed a friend.
A friend who I could stay up until midnight sharing stories over the phone with. A friend who I could hang out with every day and never ever get tired of.
A friend who felt the exact same way about me as I did about them.
A friend like her.
Just as I did when we first started talking, I still believe that the two of us were destined to be in love — but now realize the love between us is platonic. And she realizes this, too. That’s why it’s destiny.
Some people are better off as lovers, while others should just stay friends. I’m confident I’ll live out the cheesy love story of my dreams someday, but my sophomore year at St. Olaf is not the time or place. Platonic love is just as real as its romantic counterpart, and it’s exactly what I needed at this moment in time. My previous “situationship” is someone I’d now call a close friend, and I’m perfectly content with that. Besides, friendships with that weird, now-unspoken mutual attraction add a bit of spice to everything. It’s pretty fun. After all, what would life be without a bit of flirting with the homies?
