A beautiful addition has blessed The Cage’s presence this year: frozen Tractor slushies. On a particularly blistering hot day over the summer, I trudged through the humid air over to The Cage. I spent most of the summer on campus, where I was in the know with new additions to The Cage menus, which included limited edition options and arrivals. Lo and behold, I was asked a stunning question: “Have you tried the new slushies?”
Have I tried the slushies? We have slushies? I was about to explode. How could we not have shouted from the rooftops that we have a new addition such as this delectable item? I had no idea we had slushies.
I took the counter by storm. By that, I mean I walked super nonchalantly and peered around the menu a bit, already knowing exactly what I wanted. I ordered a 16oz Tractor Lemonade Slushie with a pump of raspberry syrup — worth the extra 75 cents. The ombre of the frozen lemonade drifting into the pump of raspberry sugar was art to my eyes. The first sip transported my brain to another world. Or it could have been a brain freeze. Regardless of what it was, it was a transformative experience.
St. Olaf has offered the Tractor Mandarin Cardamom and Strawberry Dragonfruit drinks in Stav, to which I am a loyal Mandarin Cardamom consumer. You will regularly catch me with that little treat. However, The Cage is offering slushies now? I have never gotten behind something faster. Might I suggest, dare I say after this new development, smoothies next?
I love smoothies. I have a blender in my room, with frozen fruit packages from Target spilling out of my mini fridge’s freezer. I will regularly fill a USEFULL bowl with spinach to the brim. I am a lover and admirer of frozen, fruity drinks. I am not alone in this admiration. My dad came to campus at the end of my first year here to help me move out of my dorm. I typically have leftover Flex dollars at the end of the semester, to which I offered him anything he wanted. He was astonished that we did not have blended smoothies on campus. Where is a man to find a smoothie? I am pleasantly surprised about the addition of Cage slushies, and I will advocate until the end of time — May 2026 — to add smoothies.
