As we approach this Halloween season, I must warn my fellow women against a most terrifying apparition: The Vulture. The Vulture is not a monster, not a ghost, but something even more bone-chilling.
A man.
Just as his namesake circles its prey, The Vulture circles those most vulnerable. Have you recently ended a long-term relationship? Are you struggling with feelings for your ex? Do you flit in between feelings of intense anger and longing for your former partner? Then, I advise you to beware.
Lurking in the spaces left gaping by heartbreak, The Vulture swoops in with charm, with compliments, with a curiosity about a past that isn’t his to explore — all perfectly timed to catch you at your most confused.
They know they wouldn’t stand a chance in any other universe. They often have never been able to handle a relationship longer than a month. How could they, when such an act would mean caring about something other than themselves?
I recently got out of an almost three-year-long relationship. The event itself was confusing at best, and I, like any young woman, initially approached my newfound singleness like a challenge. I wanted to own it and to shape it into a positive experience. Little did I know that, soon, it wouldn’t be so easy to control.
The Vulture walked me back from a night out. His hand on my back with every turn, using my name in every sentence he could, making me forget that he was only talking about himself. He called himself a gentleman — I kid you not — and professed that he believed in taking care of a woman.
In any other world, I would have had a mind to run. To roll my eyes and end it there, returning to my bed and to safety. But — and this is what The Vulture counts on — I hadn’t had another conversation with a potential romantic partner in years. I didn’t want to be overly judgemental, and I, after all, was single… might as well get a story out of it. He made himself readily available.
Our date, which he had been sure to secure from our first conversation, was overly familiar. All the dating “don’ts” were done: him touching me with comfort, a conversation about exes, and the word “girlfriend” being used more than once. My head rushed with the intensity; however, it wasn’t of joy. It was this absolutely, bone-chilling fear that I had given the impression I was more ready than I was.
When I told him how I felt, his demeanor changed entirely. He squawked and cawed against women, accusing me of “suddenly changing my mind.” I racked my mind, trying to remember a single word, a single action that could have warranted such a reaction. But there was nothing — except, of course, my honesty.
The Vulture doesn’t take rejection gracefully; he feeds on hesitation and confusion. When confronted with reality, he lashes out, showing just how fragile his carefully constructed charm truly is.
And so, in this Halloween season, I remind myself — and all the women reading this — to keep your distance, trust your instincts, and embrace the healing process. Not every charm is kindness and not every swoop is safe. No matter what: getting to know someone is not leading them on.
