Dear Men’s Tennis,  So I went to one of your games earlier, and I was wondering, what’s with all the screaming? Like, you start the match, and it’s all fine, breathing back and forth, super nice,...

Dear Men's and Women's Swim and Dive,  Do you know what my favorite part of the Paris Olympics were? The open water swim in the Seine river. Nothing captivated my attention more than the athletes standing...

Dear Women’s and Men’s hockey, Congratulations on making it to the Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (MIAC) playoffs! You both had shaky starts to the season, but like all good teams in your scenarios,...

Recently, I passed a few men in their mid-twenties and, stopping dead in my tracks, as I asked myself in a fit of panic: do the upperclassmen men’s hockey players still go here? The question seemed...

Hello Cross Country teams, Your table in Stav that you all sit at for dinner is corny as hell. Whenever I see all of your indistinguishable blonde heads lined up at that table, it fills my heart with...

Dear Nordic Ski teams,   After countless mornings watching you all ski down Ole Avenue on your rollerskis, I’d like to propose perhaps a better alternative: ski when it snows outside! I understand...

Dear St. Olaf Football Team, It’s no argument, the football team has never been a D1 league, but lately, you’ve started to grow on me. It’s not because you’ve all started showering on a daily...