Girl Scout cookies are currently selling for five dollars a box, but they will still tempt you into breaking your budget. They are far too good to just buy one, singular box. On top of that, every kid selling them gives you puppy dog eyes, enticing you to buy more so that they can have that pizza party of their dreams. Granted, this dream may or may not have originated last week, but little Sarah needs her pizza party in the decked-out limousine. Pizza all around.
I present to you – the ultimate tier list of the Girl Scout Cookies of 2023. First, I’m pleased to introduce the cookies. The cookie flavors of 2023 include Raspberry Rally, Adventurefuls, Caramel Chocolate Chip, Caramel deLites (or Samoas in my eyes), Do-si-dos, Girl Scout S’mores, Lemonades, Lemon-Ups, Peanut Butter Patties, Thin Mints, Toast-Yay, Toffee-tastic, and Trefoils. For more information and cookie flavors, consult the official Girl Scout Cookie Website.
D-tier
Trefoils, Toffee-tastic, Lemon-Ups.
If anyone tells you these are their favorite flavors of Girl Scout cookies they’re lying. To say that the trefoils are dry would be an understatement. After you consume one of these cookies, you are signing yourself up for a week’s vacation in the Sahara “Dessert” (pun intended). Next, Toffee-tastic. Who actually enjoys toffee anything? No one. Lastly, the Lemon-ups, a pale imitation of the true lemon superstar — Lemonades.
C-tier
Toast-Yay, Do-si-dos, Caramel Chocolate Chip, and Adventurefuls.
Now, in theory, Toast-yays sound good. Who doesn’t love french toast? In reality, these just taste like a standard cinnamon cookie. They are good but by no means higher than C-tier. Do-si-dos, again, I feel is just a copycat of Peanut Butter Patties. They’re good, but they just can’t compare to a frozen Peanut Butter Patty. The Caramel Chocolate Chip cookie is a hard C-tier for me because there is no topping Kirkland Signature Thin and Crispy Chocolate Chip Cookies from Costco. As far as Girl Scout cookies go, there are far better options than a standard chocolate chip cookie. Lastly, Adventurefuls sit at this rating purely because are they even really a cookie? Adventurefuls are practically a circular brownie. They are a good option but not really a cookie.
B-tier
Raspberry Rally, Girl Scout S’mores, Lemonades.
Do you know how the standard box of chocolate on Valentine’s day always has those two fruit flavors? Typically, one is orange and the other is somewhere between strawberry and raspberry. If you enjoy those chocolates, you will enjoy the Raspberry Rally. They’re practically Thin-Mints — but fruit. I recommend these frozen. Once again, I chose to rank this a B-tier because I am one of the weirdos who enjoy the fruit chocolates out of their Valentine’s day chocolate box. B-Tier for the Girl Scout S’mores. I know a s’more is not technically a cookie, but I feel that everyone enjoys a good s’more now and then. Lastly, Lemonades are a solid B-tier, maybe even A-Tier. I love these cookies. I always buy these cookies as an afterthought and they are always the first to be consumed.
A-tier
Samoas, Peanut Butter Patties
S-tier
Thin-Mints.
I feel like these three cookies are the heart and soul of Girl Scout cookies. Everybody knows of them, loves them, and purchases them for at least one person in their household. Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Patties are heavenly when placed in the freezer for an hour or two. There is no going wrong with these three cookies, but I think we can all agree that Thin Mints outrank our other fan favorites and should claim the S-Tier.
Brooke Ellis is from Cottage Grove, Minn.
Her major is undecided.