A few weekends ago, I had to go to the ER.
On Saturday morning, when I awoke with the worst chest pains I have ever felt, my roommate immediately dropped her weekend plans and helped me get to the emergency room. My podmates then banded together to get me a car to drive me to the hospital. Before long, we were on the way, and my dad was driving four hours down to come make sure I was ok.
As I sat in my hospital gown, going through test after test, my roommate helped me laugh — singing songs with me as we waited for my dad to get to Northfield. It was the first time I had gone to the doctor by myself, and answering all the questions was really nerve-racking, but the Northfield Hospital staff were so kind, making me feel validated with all my feelings. With every test, I had this terrible feeling that something was gonna come back that let me know something was wrong. I waited for the moment the doctor would tell me I had cancer, a heart condition, or some other tragic diagnosis, but after every test, there was nothing found. One miracle after another, even as the mystery kept diving deeper, I was blessed to hear that I was not dying.
Instead of learning tragic news that day, I learned a lesson that I feel will stay with me forever. Some days you’re gonna wake up and just be met with bad news. You’re gonna feel like it’s the end of the world, and you’re gonna feel defeated, but in the depths of all that, there’s gonna be hope. Hope from a roommate who stays by your side even though they had plans, hope from a father who drives four hours to make sure you’re okay in the ER, hope from friends who not only love you at your best, but literally at your worst when you’re in a hospital gown and writhing in pain. All this hope will live with you, and I think it’s that hope that will help us not to despair, because this week, when I questioned everything, I would remember the people around me who let me know how loved I am, and that kept me going. So I guess something that started out quite terrible turned into something maybe not wonderful but pretty good.
